Why School Exclusions Are Failing Neurodivergent Students — and What We Can Do About It
Recent headlines have painted a worrying picture — young people are being let down by the very systems meant to support them. From rising exclusions to increasing youth violence, the message is clear: something is deeply broken in the way we’re responding to children and teenagers who are struggling.
And now, with the release of the powerful new show Adolescence, that message is reaching wider audiences. The show doesn’t sanitise or soften the emotional chaos many teenagers experience. It shows us what it feels like to be inside the mind and body of a young person who’s overwhelmed, unseen, and spiralling. It shows us rage, detachment, shutdown, and disconnection — and how all of it is too often misunderstood. But this isn’t just fictional drama.
A recent Guardian article revealed that teenagers who have been excluded from school are twice as likely to commit serious acts of violence. Meanwhile, Children & Young People Now reported that children with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND) are significantly more likely to be excluded than their peers. In other words, the most vulnerable students — the ones who need the most support — are often the first to be pushed out. So many of these children are navigating undiagnosed neurodivergent conditions, unmet mental health needs, or chaotic home lives. And yet their behaviour is treated as a discipline issue, not a distress signal.
Boys, Emotional Dysregulation, and the Rise of the Manosphere
Nowhere is this more visible than in the growing conversation around male rage and emotional shutdown. Boys, in particular, are struggling — often silently. Too many are never taught how to understand or manage what’s going on inside them. Their meltdowns, outbursts, or withdrawn behaviour aren’t being recognised for what they often are: signs of distress, confusion, sensory overload, or trauma. Instead, they’re written off as “bad behaviour” or “just boys being boys”.
This is especially dangerous when we look at the influence of the manosphere — online communities that promote hyper-masculinity, emotional suppression, and often deeply misogynistic messages. Figures like Andrew Tate are gaining traction among boys who feel powerless, angry, and ignored. They offer an identity, however toxic, to kids who feel they don’t have one. Those who are more susceptible are neurodivergent children who struggle with emotional regulation, are being exposed to these messages too. Without intervention, without support, and without someone to help them understand their feelings, they absorb what they see and hear online. And the cycle continues.
In many classrooms, children with additional needs are struggling to keep up — not due to lack of ability, but because their underlying challenges go unrecognised. Some are autistic, ADHD, dyslexic, or experience sensory processing differences, often without a formal diagnosis. Others are not neurodivergent but may be dealing with ongoing anxiety, adverse experiences, or mental health challenges that impact their ability to function in a mainstream school setting. When these needs aren’t identified or supported, the resulting behaviours — whether withdrawal, agitation, or emotional outbursts — are frequently misinterpreted as defiance, laziness, or poor attitude. Rather than receiving support, many of these students are met with sanctions or exclusion. The result is a pattern in which signs of distress are routinely managed as discipline issues — pushing the child further from the support they need to stay in school and succeed.
What’s the Alternative?
Teachers are working under significant pressure, balancing academic responsibilities with behaviour management, safeguarding, and the diverse learning needs of their students. Many do so without adequate access to specialist training in areas such as trauma, emotional regulation, or neurodivergent support. In this context, the inclusion of specialist mentors can provide essential, targeted support — offering students the consistent, individualised input that schools may not have the capacity to deliver alone.
What Specialist Mentors Do
Specialist mentors offer consistent, 1:1 support for students struggling with emotional regulation, mental health, or unmet additional needs. Their role is relational, not disciplinary — focused on helping young people understand their emotions and develop strategies to manage them.
At Acorn to Oak Education, our mentors work with students to:
Identify emotional triggers and early signs of dysregulation
Learn self-regulation tools that are practical and accessible
Build confidence in expressing needs and asking for help
Strengthen resilience over time through trust-based support
This kind of targeted input is especially important for students at risk of exclusion or disengagement — many of whom are navigating undiagnosed neurodivergent needs or the impact of trauma.
Not Just Boys
While much attention has been given to boys and visible behavioural issues, girls are often overlooked. Many internalise their distress through masking, withdrawal, or perfectionism. These students also need support — even when their struggles are less disruptive.
Rethinking Support — In and Out of School
If we want better outcomes for vulnerable learners, we need to stop expecting children to fit into a one-size-fits-all system. Schools need better resources, more training in emotional regulation, and access to specialist support — but the reality is that even with improvements, mainstream settings aren’t always the right environment for every child.For some families, out-of-school provision or flexible, tailored education is the better fit — and that’s okay. What matters most is that the education plan works for the child and the family, not just for the system. Whether support happens in school or outside of it, the goal should be the same: helping young people feel safe, understood, and equipped to manage their emotions and learning. At Acorn to Oak Education, we work with both in-school and alternative pathways — because the right support looks different for every learner. It’s not about forcing a child to cope in a setting that’s not meeting their needs. It’s about building an approach that actually works.
Adams, R. (2025, March 22). Teenagers excluded from school ‘twice as likely to commit serious violence’. The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/education/2025/mar/22/teenagers-excluded-from-school-twice-as-likely-to-commit-serious-violence
BBC News. (2025, March 21). Youth violence: Pupils linked to hundreds of offences excluded. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c2d4ylz8rpro
Davis, C. (2024, December 14). Children with SEND at higher risk of exclusion. Children & Young People Now. https://www.cypnow.co.uk/content/news/children-with-send-at-higher-risk-of-exclusion