Continous traumatic stress in parents and carers

The continuous traumatic stress that parents and carers can face in advocating for support for their children can be unnoticed and often ignored by professionals (Griffin, 2021) especially as the origins of understanding traumatic stress have focused on the impacts of time-limited traumatic experiences such as those of war veterans (Zoromba, 2024).

Why does traumatic stress matter?

Traumatic stress can have long lasting impacts on our bodies (van der Kolk, 2014) and impacts can live on in how we see ourselves and the world (Janoff-Bulman, 2011). However, for some, the source of the traumatic stress is continuing.

The majority of mental health literature assumes that the causes of trauma are in the past (Eagle and Kaminer, 2013) and this is not necessarily true for parents and carers who may experience difficulties in accessing support for their child throughout their child’s life. This means that strategies that help with post traumatic stress may not work as the traumatic stress is not in the past and the type of help needed can be different.

What helps with continuous traumatic stress?

One of the biggest differences between continuing and post- traumatic stress is that there is a much greater need to focus on feeling safe in the present and future rather than addressing the longer term impacts or impact of past trauma (Diamond et al, 2010). Anticipatory anxiety and vigilance can be high as the source of trauma is ongoing (Eagle and Kaminer, 2013). This can lead to energy being needed to manage the anxiety about what is to come rather than unprocessed experiences from the past (Eagle and Kaminer, 2013). As a result, what is needed when traumatic stress is continuing is going to be different. For example, many trauma strategies assume the individual is now in a place of safety and that it is acceptable to reinforce the idea that the person is safe. This can feel like gaslighting when the stress is ongoing (Eagle and Kaminer, 2013).

It is normal in the face of continuing traumatic stress to self-question about the perceived threat and associated anxiety. It can be helpful to consider threat discrimination with a therapist to explore what is the right level of alertness to the challenges being faced, what plans can be in place to help, and whether there are any potential sources of respite for even a short time. Looking carefully for protective factors can also be useful so that whatever supports there are can be available when stress is at its greatest (Eagle and Kaminer, 2013).

Helpful factors including retaining a sense of control and agency (Hulley et al, 2023) and it can help to have a trusted other to share the situation with as self-belief and perception of reality can be affected by traumatic stress. Nurturing self- talk can also be helpful as well as taking steps outside of caring such as through work, hobbies, friendships or study if these are possible. One of the challenges of coping with continuing traumatic stress is that there is relatively little material about steps that can be taken while it is occurring and the focus on post-traumatic stress can feel alienating. In addition, friends and family may not appreciate just how much advocacy for support can feel loaded with judgment and shame as well as worry for our children. Our clients often share how hard they are working and yet the outcomes for their child may not reflect the effort, love and care they have put in through no fault of their own. However, good therapeutic relationships can support the growth of compassion for ourselves, help us to see our strengths and it can be positive and validating to be seen and understood as we are.

Our therapy team at Acorn to Oak Education is experienced in supporting parents and carers of children with additional support needs and we also offer low cost therapy to support parents and carers. Find out more at www.acorntooakeducation.org/counselling.

References

Diamond, G.M., Lipsitz, J.D., Fajerman, Z. and Rozenblat, O. (2010). Ongoing traumatic stress response (OTSR) in Sderot, Israel. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 41(1), pp.19–25. doi:https://doi.org/10.1037/a0017098.

Eagle, G. and Kaminer, D. (2013). Continuous traumatic stress: Expanding the lexicon of traumatic stress. Peace and Conflict: Journal of Peace Psychology, 19(2), pp.85–99. doi:https://doi.org/10.1037/a0032485.

Griffin, J. (2021). Day by day : emotional wellbeing in parents of disabled children. London, England: Free Association Books.

Hulley, J., Wager, K., Gomersall, T., Bailey, L., Kirkman, G., Gibbs, G. and Jones, A.D. (2022). Continuous Traumatic Stress: Examining the Experiences and Support Needs of Women After Separation From an Abusive Partner. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 38(9-10), pp.6275–6297. doi:https://doi.org/10.1177/08862605221132776.

Janoff-Bulman, R. (1989). Assumptive Worlds and the Stress of Traumatic Events: Applications of the Schema Construct. Social Cognition, 7(2), pp.113–136. doi:https://doi.org/10.1521/soco.1989.7.2.113.

Mohamed Ali Zoromba, Selim, A., Ateya Megahed Ibrahim, Mohamed Gamal Elsehrawy, Alkubati, S.A., Abousoliman, A.D. and Heba Emad El-Gazar (2024). Advancing Trauma Studies: A Narrative Literature Review Embracing a Holistic Perspective and Critiquing Traditional Models. Heliyon, 10(16), pp.e36257–e36257. doi:https://doi.org/10.1016/j.heliyon.2024.e36257.

van der Kolk, B. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. London: Penguin Books.

This article is reprinted from www.siljaturville.com